garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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