Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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