Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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