Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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