I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ladies don't puke and tell
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
