just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize