my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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