At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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