JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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