So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
