Dual....:-)
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
