Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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