when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
