We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
