Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
