Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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