Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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