He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
