this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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