this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
