Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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