I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
