Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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