i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
