hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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