You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
