Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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