sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
