I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Randomize
