So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
