This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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