so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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