That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
