so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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