Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
