vagina is talking i cant
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
as a side note pls kill me
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