Sry I called you an 8
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize