I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im holly from the hills drunk
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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