He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize