Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
