oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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