Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
