Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
