I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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