I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize