i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
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if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize