She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
