where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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