Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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