You smell like a Billy Joel song
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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