I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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