idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
