Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
