Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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