Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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