how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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