so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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