my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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