we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
