It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize