Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
