I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
