Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
