Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
