I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wear drunk well.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize