Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
