Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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