He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
