Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
